Well, I am sad to report that Max has begun using his two-day-old tooth for evil already. We knew he had been waking up a lot at night, but our love for him blinded us to the fact that he was stepping out and draining the blood of innocent victims up and down our street. No wonder our neighbors' constant stream of visitors has mysteriously dried up. Apparently, he has been using various teething toys to sharpen his tooth into a fang, and his mercilessness is already legend in the vampire community.
Kids just grow up so fast, you know? One day they are so small and helpless, innocently sleeping beside you. Before you know it, and despite your best efforts to influence them in the right direction, they become bloodsucking fiends. I can't help but blame myself. If only I hadn't read all those Stephen King books while I was pregnant.
Sure, Max has tried to come up with a cover story, something about how popsicles ease the pain of teething, and raspberry popsicles make gruesome-looking but innocuously-sourced drool, but he can't pull the wool over my eyes anymore. I'll be wearing garlic to bed tonight.
Well, I am sad to report that Max has begun using his two-day-old tooth for evil already. We knew he had been waking up a lot at night, but our love for him blinded us to the fact that he was stepping out and draining the blood of innocent victims up and down our street. No wonder our neighbors' constant stream of visitors has mysteriously dried up. Apparently, he has been using various teething toys to sharpen his tooth into a fang, and his mercilessness is already legend in the vampire community.
Kids just grow up so fast, you know? One day they are so small and helpless, innocently sleeping beside you. Before you know it, and despite your best efforts to influence them in the right direction, they become bloodsucking fiends. I can't help but blame myself. If only I hadn't read all those Stephen King books while I was pregnant.
Sure, Max has tried to come up with a cover story, something about how popsicles ease the pain of teething, and raspberry popsicles make gruesome-looking but innocuously-sourced drool, but he can't pull the wool over my eyes anymore. I'll be wearing garlic to bed tonight.
2 comments:
let's hope Max goes easy on ol' Burt, who has enough problems already
Chelsa, it is difficult for parents to see their childrens faults. I am glad you have not blinded yourself.
Be sure not to cross any rivers or enter any churches with Max. All sorts of complications.
Julia has developed an aversion to silver and an affinity for the full moon. Is that significant?
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