Hi, I'm Maggie. I'm here today to tell you about a novel new lifestyle makeover I've recently designed. I call it the "sleep during the day, then stay awake all night nursing" plan. My mama is bug-eyed from lack of sleep, so I know it's working out great for her, too.
My easy-to-follow lifestyle adjustment has three basic steps:
1) Sleep most of the day, awakening just long enough to refuse to nap during your sibling's naptimes. While your sibling is being put to bed, pop up from your crib at irregular intervals, crowing and cawing loudly. Resist all efforts to keep you awake and lively during daylight.
2) Awaken around eight or eight-thirty, conclude that you are feeling peckish. Play with but do not actually eat your solid food. Request nursing repeatedly.
3) Continue to request nursing frequently throughout the night. This step does require a certain amount of vigilance -- ideally, you want to squawk for more milk right at the exact second that your mama decides you're done and starts to drift off to sleep.
Ask me about the many benefits that this lifestyle offers; after all, I'm not just the president and founder of this exciting new plan -- I'm also its top client. Call today!