Item 1 on my list: Maggie's teeth. Dear Tooth Nubs: Whatever it is that you are doing in there that is making my beloved daughter bite me and keep me up all night, it is important that you stop doing it immediately. Thank you.
Item 2: I found four grey hairs on my head the other day. Dear grey hairs: cease and desist reproducing right now. I am unamused.
Item 3: When I bemoaned the aforementioned grey hairs to Ian, he icily informed me that some people would feel really lucky if they were still growing hair of any color, and that perhaps I should take my luxuriously full-maned self elsewhere with my complaints. And that was the most sympathy I got out of him on that subject.
Item 4: My mother chirpily commented that she has only just now begun to go grey. Arguably even less helpful than Ian. Which is why I am talking to you, Blog.
Item 5: I ordered a dress online, and received the wrong item from the company. This wouldn't be the end of the world, except that the item I received was a pair of jeans with MULTI-COLORED RHINESTONES affixed to the back pockets. I am sad a) that such jeans exist in the world, b) that I am, however briefly, the owner of such a fashion aberration, and c) that when I alerted the company to their error, they offered me a five dollar coupon by way of apology. As if five dollars is enough to compensate for my lost innocence.
Item 6: Max has decided that his stuffed bear is a baby. This is adorable in theory. Rather than care for the bear baby himself, however, Max keeps me continually informed of it's needs (which are considerable), and then demands that I care for it. That hairy little bear baby poops and cries nonstop, and seems quite neurotic, to boot.
That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure more things will aggravate me as the day progresses, so stay tuned.