Do I Have To Share?

Max has always been a social person, and I love that about him. As he gets older, he gets more and more interested in being social with kids his own age, and so Ian and I have been thinking about options for preschool in the fall. Yesterday, I spent a little time consolidating plans for Max to attend the preschool where I used to teach. Obviously, its a school I know well and feel comfortable with, and I think that Max will really enjoy it. After I hung up the phone, though, I had to have a little cry. I can't believe that Max is old enough to go to school! As much as I know that he will be more than ready by September, there is some really big, selfish piece of me yelling, "My baby! Mine! I don't want to share him!" The phase of Max's life where I can supply his every social need is ending, and I am going to miss it. I can already foresee that Max's first day will be much harder for me than it will for him. I marvel over how cavalier I was when I was on the teaching end of the relationship. I knew, and I thought I understood, that people were entrusting their children to me. I never really understood, though, that it is more than that. When you put your child in someone else's care, you are entrusting them with your heart. And my heart is growing up just a little too fast.