Monday, October 23, 2006

A Spooky Halloween Rant

Dear People Who Make Halloween Costumes: Thank you for your many delightful and adorable costume creations. I can see from all the advertisements that you seem able to find an unlimited supply of rosy-cheeked babies who are thrilled to wear hats, hoods, face makeup, masks, and fur-covered polyester outfits. I would like to humbly submit, however, that my son does not seem to be one of them. As you can see from the included picture, we live in California, where it is not exactly fur-covered suit weather by the end of October. In addition, my son has an unusually large head, with a tendency to get unusually sweaty. He is therefore adverse, somewhat understandably, to head-coverings of any kind. While I have seen warmer weather costume options for girls -- fairy princess suits, cheerleader outfits, etc. -- I am not yet an enlightened enough parent to allow my one-year-old son to defy gender conventions and select one of these. Perhaps you can help me to find an option that is comfortable, practical, and baby boy friendly. Thanks.


Joshua said...

Warm Weather Toddler Boy costume options:

-Underwear Model
-Life Drawing Model
-Porn Star (also nude)

I think one of these would definately work, and they are garenteed to keep your child cool and happy!

Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the devil won't mind if Max sits this one out. Next year I bet he will be more than a bit interested in dressing up as something :)

Chelsa said...

Yeah, but the photo ops demand a costume. Josh, your ideas are appreciated, but you have a son, so I know that you now understand the perils of naked babydom. Streaker is one thing, pee splasher another.

Raging Wombat said...

Wasn't there a vampire incident recently? What about a black outfit - possible a light cape?

What you could do is take a page out of his own book, get a white onesie, and smear it with all of Max's beloved foods - spaghetti sauce, greens, browns, yellows, reds, etc. Would he be adverse to wearing a cap meant to look like broccoli?