Mother's Day Hints

Whenever Speck should choose to be born, she is now officially not a preemie anymore. To celebrate this, and to offer Mother's Day suggestions to my offspring, I have composed the following:

Dear Max and Speck,
I know that you are probably too busy to go shopping for Mother's Day flowers or candy, and we all know that it's the homemade gifts that mean the most, anyway. I understand that you might wish to honor me, your mother, in various extravagant ways, and I understand the temptation, but my desires are really quite simple.
Speck -- I know you have heard me say, many times throughout your fetal existence, that I hoped you would not be premature like your brother, as it was difficult to leave him in the hospital and to find pants that fit his scrawny self at first. I want you to know that I appreciate the fact that you listened, and that you have gone the distance and made it to full term. However, if you would like to help me out a little, and get me a Mother's Day treat I can really use and enjoy, how about coming on out and giving me back uncontested ownership of my internal organs? Seriously, enough is enough. Get Out. If you could throw in as pain-free a labor and delivery as possible, that'd be great, too.
Max -- I know that you are growing several more teeth, and that you are feeling unsettled by all the impending excitement and change around here, and I don't blame you. But if you feel like giving me a Mother's Day treat, sleeping through the night once or twice before the new baby comes would be awesome. Even if you can't make it all the way through the night, keeping the kicking and writhing to a minimum in the big bed would be gift enough.
I hope that the two of you have found this helpful. Of course, even if neither of you ever act on these hints, I will still feel grateful, as always, to be your mama. I love you.