Reason # 625,432,978 Why Maggie Is Charming

When Maggie is tired, and she wants to be put to bed, she never says that she wants to go to bed, or that she wants to go night nights, or whatever. She always, always says that she wants to "play night nights". This delights me, that she thinks of going to sleep as yet another game. And then, if you don't take the hint fast enough, she adds, "in bed!" and points. And if you still don't hustle enough to suit her, she will punch you in the knees until you take her to bed. Living with Maggie is a lot like living with a somewhat bossy, extremely violent fraggle. I love her all the way to the stars and back.

Little Sister

Max to Mama: Who is that picture of?
Mama: That's Daddy, and me, and you when you were a baby.
Max: What are we doing?
Mama: We're on vacation at the beach.
Max: Where's Maggie? Why did we not bring Maggie to the beach?
Mama: That was before Maggie was born.
Max: But where was she?
Mama: We didn't have Maggie yet. It was just you and me and Dada.
Max: WHY?
Mama: Are you getting upset?
Max (lips quivering, eyes filling up with tears): Yeah, I am getting upset, because I'm sad.
Mama: Why are you sad?
Max: Because I miss Maggie! I want her to come with us!
Mama: Well, that's why we had a Maggie. So that we could bring her places with us.
Max: Last years ago?
Mama: Um. Yeah.
Max: That's why we need Maggie to come with us, thatwise I will be sad. Because I love her.

My Two Dads

Happy Father's Day

Happy Father's Day

When Max was about six months old, he and I walked downtown and popped into Ian's store for a little visit. Ian was with a customer, so Max and I found a corner to occupy ourselves in while we waited. As the customer was getting ready to leave, Ian introduced Max and I to her, we all exchanged pleasantries, and then the customer, on her way out the door, asked Ian when he would be at work in the next few days, in case she had a question or whatever. He told her his hours, and she raised her eyebrows and turned to me.
"Wow!" she said. "You never see him! You must feel like a single parent!"
"No," I said, genuinely baffled. "If I were a single parent, I would be working all those hours, and somehow trying to do everything I do now."
Ian does work long hours. He works weekends and holidays. He does this for us, so that the kids can be home when they need to be home and so that I can be home with them. In and of itself, this is remarkable, and the fact that Ian does not treat it as if it is remarkable only makes it more so. But the truth of the matter is, I was surprised by that customer's comment, because in addition to working long hours, Ian uses the time he does have at home with us to be completely present and available and interactive with his children, to a degree that surpasses remarkable and ventures into the realm of wonderous. We are lucky.

Without Further Ado, The Magic Number Proudly Presents ...

Maggie's impersonation of The Reverend Al Sharpton.

For The Record, I Am Crouched Down -- Max Is Not Taller Than I Am Yet

Although he has been eating like a vacuum lately, and sleeping like a log, and falling apart at the drop of a hat like a -- a -- a thing that falls apart at the drop of a hat, and these signs almost always point to impending growth spurts. I am hoping that I continue to be the taller of the two of us through his fifth birthday. To hope for longer than that would be optimistic to the point of ridiculousness, and I try to be realistic.

Performance Piece

I call this composition:
Fearless Mountain Explorer
In Pink Tutu
(with stubby ponytail).

School Girl

Now that Maggie is two, she is eligible to attend preschool with Max and I, and she had her first official school day on Tuesday. Although she is younger than Max was when he started, she has been chomping at the bit for awhile, and her first day went very smoothly. As could perhaps be predicted by anyone who knows me, I was exponentially more anxious on her behalf than she was. She just looked so very small to me, trotting around amidst all the giant four- and five-year olds. Maggie, of course, does not consider herself too small for any task or activity, up to and including wild bull taming and Mt. Everest climbing. As could perhaps be predicted by anyone who knows Maggie, within half an hour of being at school she had roped a team of five year olds into taking turns pushing her on the swing.
I am really glad that Maggie is able to come with us now. It eases up our schedule considerably -- Maggie was staying home with Ian on his days off while Max and I went to school, which meant that Ian and I were working seven days a week between the two of us. It also allows me to keep Maggie close, which is nice because I missed her desperately. I am so, so grateful that I am able to teach and bring the kids with me, so I can be there with Max and Maggie while still giving them a bit of socialization. I would be a wreak of embarrassingly epic proportions otherwise.

Creepy Remarks That Max Has Made In An Offhand Tone Recently:

While Brushing His Teeth:
Max: My toothbrush is poisoned, Mama! So I can't brush my teeth. Sorry.
Mama: There is no poison on your toothbrush. Just toothpaste.
Max: That's where they put the poison. They did your toothbrush, too.

While Attempting to Avoid Falling Asleep At Nap Time:
Max: Hey, Mama?
Mama: What?
Max: You know that feeling?
Mama: What feeling?
Max: You know, that feeling like someone is watching you?

At The Doctor's Office:
Max to Doctor: Doctor, my next mommy broke my next helicopter and I sat on it.
Doctor: Um ... I may need your mom to interpret that one.
Mama: I wish I could.
Doctor: So as far as you know, he hasn't had any accidents recently with broken toys?
Mama: No. Sometimes he --
Max: It didn't happen this day. My next mommy lives in my next house. When I am done here I am going to live there.

Proof Positive That These Poor Children Are Being Raised By Incurably Snobby Coffee Fiends

Maggie to Max in the bath: I'm cooking, Max!
Max: Oh.
Maggie: I'm making cappuccino, Max! It's good! Open your mouth! Drink it! It's good!
Max (glancing critically at Maggie's toy tea cup): You need to put more foam on it, Maggie.

Maggie

The moon loves her
For she is smooth and round and wise and the moon loves itself in her.

The stars love her
For she lights up dark places and she is most awake at nighttime and the stars love themselves in her.

The sun loves her
For she is alight like the sun and warm and the sun loves itself in her.

The grass loves her
For she whispers pleasantly in the ear and she runs with the wind and the grass loves itself in her.

The water loves her
For she chuckles as she goes and she invigorates the world and the water loves itself in her.

Love loves her
For she is made of adoration and trills and rushes of giddy delighted feeling flow where she appears and Love loves itself in her.

We love her
For she is fierce and bold and always brimming with unexpected joy and we love us more with her here to share us.

Two years ago today, we met a little lady who would go on to quickly, instantly, utterly captivate our hearts. As we celebrate our Maggie today (and every day), I am torn between inconsolable sorrow that her baby self is gone, incomparable joy that her toddler self is so happy and fearless and unique, and indescribable excitement to meet the self that comes next. Happy Birthday, my bold little amazon. We love you so very much.

Lightsaber Fight

Because When You Get Right Down To It, The Alphabet Just Doesn't Do Much

Max to Dad: I have a good idea, Dada. Here's what we're going to do: I'm the 'i' and you're the 'j', okay, Dad?
Dad: Okay. Wait, what? You mean, like, I'm the letter I and you're the letter J? That's what we're doing?
Max: No, no. I'm the letter I and you're the letter J.
Dad: But we're letters? Alphabet letters?
Max: Right. Exactly.
Dad: Okay.

[LONG PAUSE]

Max: So .... so how's it going, J?
Dad: Um. Pretty good, I. How's it going with you?
Max: Good.
Dad: Good.
Max: Yeah.
Dad: Yep.

[LONG PAUSE]

Dad: Are we still letters?
Max: Yes.
Dad: So, what should we do?
Max: We just sit together.
Dad: Okay.
Max: Say, "Okay, I."
Dad: Okay, I.
Max: Exactly. Good job, J.
Dad. Thanks, I.

Happy Mother's Day

Mothers Day Video from Ian Tillman on Vimeo.

Happy Birthday Gramps!

Unfortunately, my dad is celebrating his birthday with a rousing game of gall bladder removal, and he is therefore most likely blowing out birthday candles over a tragic hospital jello salad instead of having cake at home. We hope to have him home in the next couple of days, fully recovered and better than ever. In the meantime, however, if and when you wish him a Happy Birthday, wish extra hard, will you? He seems to require forceful good thoughts in order to get through his birthdays in one piece sometimes.

Gramps, we love you muchly, and we are all made a little zanier, more spontaneous, and happier by the fact that you are in our lives. Happy Birthday, Papa.

Uber-Tillmans

Today's pediatrician findings:

Maggie:
-30 lbs. (88th %)
-36 3/4 inches tall (99th %)
-head size: 88th %
-verbal skills of an average three year old. (The doctor asked if we had ever known her to string three or four words in a sentence, and we laughed. Because she's been doing that for nine months. Her longest sentence to date was nine words: "I want to climb in that tree now, Mama.")
-Ferocity of a thousand suns.
-Not at all a fan of shots or the parents who sold her up the river and allowed the shots to happen.

Max:
-42 lbs. (94%)
-41 1/2 inches tall (94%)
-Head size: the doctor decided not to check. It's still big, it's still bold, ultrasound confirms it's nothin' but brains in there.
-Healthy as a horse. A really healthy horse. His last trip to the doctor was over a year ago, and that was for his 3 year old check up.
-verbal skills of an average 4 year old.
-Beautifully polite and cooperative, even in the face of pokings and proddings of an extemely invasive and personal sort.

The doctor summed up the whole Tillman kid thing thusly at the end of our visit: "Well, you have nice kids. And they're very smart. And really, really tall." All true.

Because We Need A Friendlier Dialogue On The Record

Max to Maggie: Maggie! Maggie! Come here!
Maggie: I'm Maggie.
Max: I know that, Maggie. Come in here with me! Quick!
Maggie: What are you doooing, Mac?
Max: I'm hiding. I am playing legos. Come in here quick! I want you to play in here with me.
Maggie: Okay! Sure! (doesn't move)
Max: Are you coming in here, Maggie? I want you to play with me. You are my little sister. You are learning. I am teaching you to play.
Maggie: Why?
Max: Because I love you, you silly Squeaker Toy. (laughs)
Maggie: I love you too, Mac. Kweek Toy. (laughs)

A Whimsical Slice Of My Day

Alternate Title: Oh, That's Where Those Grey Hairs Keep Coming From!

Max to Mama (at the grocery store): I need all of that cookie.
Mama: No, I got it for you and Maggie to share. Maggie gets this piece, and you get this piece.
Max (loudly): NO I WANT THE WHOLE COOKIE!! I WANT MAGGIE'S COOKIE AND I DON'T WANT MAGGIE TO HAVE ANY COOKIE! MAGGIE IS NOT MY FRIEND SHE IS JUST A BABY! BABIES ARE BAD! NO BABIES! NEVER! ... (and etc.)
Mama: Listen. I'm going to hang onto the cookie until you calm down and are ready to talk in a nice voice. You don't get things by yelling at people. (and etc.)
[brief pause while Max sniffles and Mama lurks in an out of the way corner of the store to minimize disruption and Maggie happily eats her shard of cookie]
Mama: It seems like you've calmed down a little bit now. Are you ready to try again?
Max (somewhat resentfully): Yes.
Mama: Would you like to have your cookie now while we finish shopping?
Max (somewhat resentfully): Yes. But I wanted the whole cookie. I really did.
Mama: Yes, I think you made that pretty clear.
Elderly Lady Passing By: Ohhh, you've got a cookie, haven't you? Is that a good cookie?
Max: Yes. You know, Mama took my cookie away from me. I cried.
Elderly Lady Who Now Regrets Trying To Make Conversation: Oh? Well ...that's ... that's too bad?
[Elderly Lady scurries off]
Max: I was pretty sad about that cookie.
Mama: I know, Max.
Max: I wish I had Maggie's cookie, too.
Mama: Oh, well, Max.
Max: Thatwise I cried.
Mama: Live in the now, Dude.

Maggie Playing WIth Bubbles

Enjoy :)

Mama Error # 352,427: Do Not Do Exhausting Things Early In The Day And Then Try To Skip Nap

Maggie to Mama: I night nights, Mama.
Mama: Hmm? Wait, what?
Maggie:(dreamily) Night nights, Mama.
Mama: No! Oh, no! It's 4:45! If you go to sleep now, you'll never go to bed tonight! No night nights!
Maggie: Night nights.
Mama: Maggie? Maggie! Don't go to sleep, Maggie!
Maggie: I sleeping.
Mama: Let's read a book! Let's take a bath! Let's throw the ball or try on shoes or blow bubbles or eat a cracker or ... dear God Maggie please do NOT go to sleep! Maggie?
Maggie: zzz.
Mama: Oh no.